Tags
Communication, Creative writing, emotion, loss, Love, lyrics, poems, poetry, verse, writing
I see you in my dreams,
Always in the dark,
The part of me that died
When I was seventeen.
The laughter at my side,
The smile upon my face,
The look within your eye
From which I cannot hide.
If only I could,
(See through your eyes)
If only I could,
(See from outside)
If only I could,
(Remember)
What took it all
Apart.
Lost amongst the trees,
And blinded by the light,
Living in the shadows
Thrown over all we see.
The tears we never cried,
The things we could not say,
The faces that we lost
At least I know I tried.
If only I could,
(See through your eyes)
If only I could,
(See from outside)
If only I could,
(Remember)
What took it all
Apart.
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A powerful poem of nostalgia, Chris. I am moved by the wilfulness of the narrator – almost destructive…
Thank you, Rachael, for your insightful reading of this. I think that you are spot on here.
Sad but beautiful
Thank you. I’m pleased that you saw a little beauty behind this. I appreciate your feedback.
Beautiful melancholic piece made more powerful by repetition of the italic verse or chorus as I think of it
Thank you, Peter, glad you liked this. Chorus, definitely – there’s a melody there somewhere!
Longing for what might have been or could have been is always a most suitable theme which you, Chris, handle with grace without becoming maudlin.
It’s a well crafted and worthwhile work, a pleasure for me,
Always
john
Thank you, John, for your kind words. I am really pleased that you felt that the sentiment of this piece came across successfully.
I agree this is very lyrical and achingly beautiful. Fine writing Chris.
Thanks, Mark, much appreciated.
This is wonderful.
Thank you, I really appreciate that.
Chris, I would have to agree to there’s a charming lyrical quality to this piece, which I believe (perhaps intentional) lightens the load of the narrator’s vulnerability and longing to understand,
“What took it all
Apart.”
A beautiful poem Chris! Please have a wonderful Sunday. Take care. ~ Mia
Thank you, Mia, you have read this exactly as it was intended, and I’m pleased that you felt that it worked.
You’re welcome Chris, it worked brilliantly!
Again, many thanks.
” the tears we never cried ” ….I feel them now Chris from your writing …
I’m pleased that you felt that the emotion of this piece came thrpuhh, Meg. As ever I appreciate you both reading and taking the time to leave your thoughts.
There is such an atmosphere created in this Chris. If you don’t mind me saying, ‘at least I know I tried’ feels like the closure for this piece, though I did enjoy the repetition of your reflective verse too anyways!
Not at all, I’m pleased that you took the time to read and reflect on this, and I value your thoughts. Thank you.