I watched the planes trace ice-ribbons
Across the sky before
They were lost to the
Cirrus wisped blueness
And their tails faded
Like promises written in
Tide-threatened sands,
And hopes took restless souls
To the promise of utopian shores
Not realising that they
Like all that came before
Wore the mask that hid
The fault-line masquerade
That spread like disease below,
I watched them come and go and
Taxi slowly on the grey
As if discarding the seeds of doubt
That grew beneath their wheels
Like ancient gods burying
Defeated foes unaware that
They would rise again,
And as the stuttered raging roar
Splintered hearts like candy then
Tore holes into the sky
Which like starving angels
Swallowed fleeting flailing dreams
Cocooned within a safety shell
They never saw,
As standing rooted in my
Futures past and present
I watched the planes
Trace
Ice-ribbons.
© All original writing copyright Chris Nelson 2018
chrisnelson61 
Perfection, Chris. I like your long thoughts which left no room for exhaling.
The rhythm is so melodic, ebbing and flowing.
Thank you, B! All worked as intended, and I’m delighted that you found the rhythm of this.
This is wonderful, Chris. The rhythm of the words and alliteration are so fluid. I really love the way the end circles back to the beginning and echos the loop of the subtext.
And I’m delighted with your comment too. I’m really pleased that you felt that this piece worked. Thanks!
It more than “worked”.
☺
I can only subscribe to the two above comments. I love all the images of your poem but this part especially speaks to me:
“And their tails faded
Like promises written in
Tide-threatened sands,
And hopes took restless souls
To the promise of utopian shores
Not realising that they
Like all that came before
Wore the mask that hid
The fault-line masquerade
That spread like disease below”
I am delighted that this resonated with you. Thank you for reading and leaving your thoughts. Much appreciated.
You are welcome.
☺
Reblogged this on MORALITY PARK.
Thank you 😃!
You’re very welcome, Sir Chris. Marvelous writing.
My thanks to you for reading…pleased you liked this.
Deeply sky scaping
on a canvas of wings.
Thank you, I like your response to this!
I followed the ribbons
of your poem, Chris,
and found myself flying.
☺
The way you paint directly to my mind, like whispering a secret in my ear, thrills me every time Chris. The imagery is profound in its language but even more so in its narrative. ‘All is the same as it ever was’, dream what you may. You swaddle such cool acceptance in vibrant imagery and the two couple much like dreams and reality; almost unaware they share a bed.
I wish I’d written your response to this, Maggie, it’s beautiful and eloquent. I’m absolutely thrilled that my words touch you – makes writing worthwhile. Thank you so much.