A short piece taken from the collection of poetry, prose and lyrics entitled ‘Another Tease’ (links at the end of the post. Enjoy!
I sat on the bus, watching the night-lit streets as they passed by like frozen, shrouded memories. The juddering, stop-start motion seemed to bring an uneasy comfort to my body, detached as it was from my consciousness. Other vehicles, heading in the opposite direction, appeared and then disappeared as if they were on some mythic quest, their headlights dull and dim below my position on the top deck of the bus, illuminating nothing but the first few steps on a journey without end. For a moment it seemed as if only they knew the direction in which to move in order to find some salvation, some respite from the pain, and yet I knew, contained within each metal box, was nothing more than one more lonely figure hoping beyond all hope that something, some miracle, would appear to snap them out of their coma.
Buildings rose up on either side of me now; giant monoliths, some pale and dark, devoid of life, tired and waiting for release, others still humming under the electric glow which gave them purpose. Their eyes stared out without seeing through the dark, and were gone again, lost to me as I moved steadily on. Their facades hung momentarily in my mind like all the faces of people I had met in my life, before fading into a sea of ashen memories. The night around me seemed to tighten its grip as, like an abandoned vessel, we sailed on.
To both the right and to the left of me roads sprouted off from the main artery down which I was travelling. They sparkled and twinkled with the hope of the newborn before even their lights were swallowed by the darkness into which, it seemed, the whole world had fallen. I shuddered as the bus lurched around a corner: not from the cold – I had long since become immune to that – but from the impending realisation that we were, at last, nearing my stop, my final destination.
And then everything was quiet, but for the pounding in my chest and the pulsing in my head. What if I were to remain on the bus? Would it eject me when it reached its destination, its point of termination, or would it show a glimmer of empathy, offer up a hand and cradle me to its heart? After all, my brain reminded me, what point was there to alighting, to leaving the bus to continue without me, if you were no longer there to welcome me home?
A very short story today taken from the collection of poetry, prose and lyrics: ‘Another Tease’availablevia the links below.
Hope you enjoy this.
I thought of you then, on the day that I left, knowing, despite the words, that we would never meet again. I thought of you as I sat in the darkness, as the Sun dipped like a dying friend beyond the horizon for what might as well have been the last time. I knew that I, like the errant Sun, would rise again, but that neither of us would ever be quite the same: the Sun would burn fractionally less brightly, its gaseous source ever so slightly diminished, and I, with less reason to rise than before, would begin to become a shadow of myself. I thought of you and the words that we had shared wondering if you had ever truly understood my meaning. Had you thought of me as a friend or merely an acquaintance, and had I ever truly understood what lay behind your eyes? I thought of how close I felt that we had become, our shoulders brushing against one another as we shared a joke, our laughter spreading its roots between us connecting us forever, or so I had imagined. But did you leave me behind along with all the other artefacts of work when you closed the door behind you and returned to your home?
I thought of you and wondered whether I had been too obscure, too subtle in my words and looks, for you to see me. And what exactly had I felt? Was this a connection that I felt that I had needed or something that had burst upon me unexpectedly and had opened a new door which whispered quietly for me to go through? Perhaps the moment had come for me, after a life of living at a comfortable distance from the edge, to finally take a chance, a risk. But, of course, caution is a powerful bedfellow, and, by the time I had recognised the chance, if had closed its eye for ever.
I thought of you then and wondered if you had ever lain alone in the dark beneath the Summer’s heat: I wondered if, like me, you had lost yourself to imagination; and I wondered if you had ever found yourself with your hand between your legs, wishing its fingers were mine.
Another lyric taken from my recently published collection ‘Another Tease’.
Another lyric today. This is called ‘Let You Down’…feel free to create your own melody.
Hope you enjoy.
I’m sorry
I’m so very sorry
I never meant
To let you down
Never meant
For you to drown.
I’m sorry
I’m so very sorry
I never meant
To let you down
Never meant
For you to drown.
On days
On days so much better
So much better
Than these
We watched each other dance
Made promises on stars
I swore I’d never leave
I’d never let you fade
And nights
Nights we shared as one
In brighter dreams
Than we could hold
We watched each other shine
Make circles in the sky
I swore I’d keep forever
And never wish away
I’m sorry
I’m so very sorry
I never meant
To let you down
Never meant
For you to drown.
And how
How did I let it all
Fall away
Fall to shadow
We watched each other go
Leave footprints in our hearts
I swore would never happen
I’d never let you fade
I’m sorry
I’m so very sorry
I never meant
To let you down
Never meant
For you to drown.
‘Another Tease’ is a collection of poetry, short prose fiction and lyrics covering themes as diverse as love & war, faith & loss and hope & depression. The lyrics have no melodies – each one is left open for the reader to create their own interpretation.
Over the next few weeks I am focusing on editing some short stories which I will hopefully be able to publish in the near future.
In the meantime I am going to share a few pieces taken from my recently published collection ‘Another Tease’.
Today’s post is a lyric entitled ‘Tangled’. Hope you like it.
I love you but I’m broken
The words you said to me,
I’d like to hold you baby
But I’m not sure I’m free.
I’m tangled up and twisted
Afraid of what you’ll see,
The loneliness and fear
A darker side of me.
My shredded heart is open
Lays weeping on the ground,
Your words tumble around me
Fall lifeless with no sound.
But I will wait
A thousand years
To hold your heart
Again,
And I would walk
The continents
To bring you back
Your love.
My tears will fall forever
But never set you free,
My heart can offer nothing
There’s little left of me.
I love you but I’m broken
The words you said to me,
I’d like to hold you baby
But I’m not sure I’m free.
But I will wait
A thousand years
To hold your heart
Again,
And I would walk
The continents
To bring you back
Your love.
‘Another Tease’ is a collection of poetry, short prose fiction and lyrics covering themes as diverse as love & war, faith & loss and hope & depression. The lyrics have no melodies – each one is left open for the reader to create their own interpretation.
If you enjoyed this I have attached details of the book after the poem
Morning dark Grey granite sky peppered With myriad pinpoint lights Which vainly battle the laden skies As they open wide their arms Cast down their tears Frozen white with chill-dread Fear of the Sun Which one day will come, Owls turn slowly Their feathers frost-bitten Eyes drained by sleep’s demise Strain still to catch The lonely orphan shards Their plaintive calls Hang lost like gallows corpses Pleading still Against their fate, And alabaster sheets Reach ever upward to the sky Jagged out-crops Slate-silvered stone Razor blades blunted by Night’s constant sweeping hand
As it brushes colour From a landscape scarce, Black fingers stretch Weighted heavy with sufferance Their life green tainted Yet gripping still with desperation Knowing that this will end And night will close Its interest lost Pass reins to the Sun Which one day will come, But now my feet Will take me ever on.
‘Another Tease’ is a collection of poetry, short prose fiction and lyrics covering themes as diverse as love & war, faith & loss and hope & depression. The lyrics have no melodies – each one is left open for the reader to create their own interpretation.
Published in Gold Dust magazine, Literally Stories, Near to the Knuckle, McStorytellers, Penny Shorts, Soft Cartel, Whatever Keeps the Lights On, and Shooter magazine.
chrisnelson61 